Everyone says believe is the first seed of everything. If you
don’t believe or trust, performing an act is quite impossible. But the question
arises, whom do we trust? The higher authority? The mass? Or the general
surrounding? I know one would give me straight answer, trust yourself, and do
what your heart says. I am in pretty much dilemma right now. One day, I decide
to stay and face what comes across, the next moment something comes in and
shakes me with fear of the possible bad outcome. No one is nobody’s friend or no
one is nobody’s person. Trusting anyone and everyone will definitely hurt me at
the end. Everyone knows that and I am sure of it.
I used to say proudly I do have a strong instinct which
gives a hint of everything. But I am not quite sure yet. It is a sad scenario. I
want to believe the person and I want to take shot at my gut and check it out,
what worst can it do right?
Sometime am not even certain what am I afraid of? May be what
people will think of me? Or maybe I am too careful to screw up my responsibilities
which I know I have a huge one and I can’t deny it. Having said that and gone
through many people across the walk through, should I believe the experience or
should I believe the novice authority. But it is about me, why should I leave
it to them to decide?
A moment comes by, I feel I should stand up proud and do what
it takes and then sometime gets on the way. What if I decide and turn out to be
the wrong thing? What if I take a decision and collapse all over my face? Elders
do tell us all the time learn from your mistakes. But how far can we live with
the mistakes we do and more over how much mistakes do we have to come across to
learn lessons? We can learn from others mistakes but other might think that is
a mistake but what if a situation comes in where we feel that is not a mistake.
Do we leave it just like that? Nobody wants to do mistakes in life. Sometime it
happens without our knowledge. If we don’t know it is a mistake then how do we
not do it???
I hope rather wish if I could just see or know things around
ahead; see the result so we can decide accordingly. But then there won’t be
surprises left in life. Life would be so predictable and so boring. Everything has
its own consequences but this uncertainty sometime frustrates me.
I think I should believe my guts and listen to my heart and
should stay back and see what happens. I can’t have all the fruits in the world
and I can’t take a bite from every fruits which come along.
I hope I decide well. Wish me luck...!!!!
